Mammas

I've been contemplating much about the role of a mamma. Mammas are shaping the lives of people each and everyday. What a tremendous responsibility!!

When I look at myself and see many areas where I am seriously lacking, this kind of frightens me. When I see the fear that I allow to grip me, and the lack of faith in my life,  I call out to God in my lack and pray that He changes me. I want to be changed into His image. I want to be like Him. I want my children to be like Him. I want my children to be giants in the spirit! I want to be full of faith and emit that to my children. 

I long to see ALL the promises God has promised me come to fruition. I long to see my seed be the generals that they were called to be.

General # 1

The other day I had this revelation. I was thinking about all of my children and how hard the enemy has tried to steal our seed. I have three babies in heaven, the enemy tried to take Cayden from us at 37 week gestation, but praise His name I realized that there was no fetal movement and went to see the doctor. That day I had an emergency c-section, two of my boys were thrown away by others and God brought them into our family, and two of my boys, have struggled to follow God and lay hold of the things of God. I've often wondered, "Why?" 

Then I heard the Lord speak so clearly to me that my children have mighty calls of God on their lives and the enemy doesn't want to see their destinies fulfilled.

General # 2

Three nights ago, one of my sons was talking to his brother on the phone. He began to encourage him that in a war, privates aren't messed with by the enemy. There's no strategic attack plan to try and take out the privates, but that it's the generals that the enemy wants to take out. As he was talking, I had tears streaming down my face, as the Lord was confirming His word to me. He said to his brother, "......, you're not a private in this army, you're a general and that's why the devil is messing with you so badly. You have to realize the call of God on your life is so great, your talents are so great that the enemy wants to take you out!" 

I was floored that my son, could encourage his brother in such an amazing way!

General #3

Two days ago, all of my pregnancy symptoms disappeared and I began to worry. I told Clinton and he said in faith, "remember God gave you a dream and said 'This baby will live'.

General #4

The enemy has tried to take this baby from conception. Not knowing I was pregnant, I went to have a mammogram. I was on the 25th day of my cycle. The tech didn't use a lead apron. On the 26th day of my cycle, my period didn't come and my pregnancy test came back positive. The enemy urged me to have a mammogram as I was fearful because of breast pain. I was moved by fear. When in reality, my breast were hurting because I have a baby growing inside me. He's such a liar. I've succumbed to his tactics way too often.

I'm tired of being moved by fear. I don't want my children to be moved by fear.

General #5 (complete with his Thor sword)

While resting in the afternoon, that same day, I began to get so frustrated that the enemy moves me to fear so easily and I declared out loud, "Satan is after my seed!!! You can't have my seed! God's given them to me to look after to raise up and I will have this baby too. This baby is a general in God's army and you can't stand it!!" Then I began to quote all the scriptures God has given me over my children. My faith began to rise up!!

The next day, pregnancy symptoms were back in overdrive. I was sick from morning until night!! God's kiss on my faith. Then around 9pm, my good friend called me and said she was thinking of me. She said while sleeping she had a dream of a chubby curly headed little girl in our house. : )  Amen!!

So this is my point.

1.  For us to believe God for godly seed no wavering. 
2.  satan is after our seed, and we must fight in the spirit for the souls and sometimes the lives of our of our children. 
3. My point is that if God's given you generals, your job is great! We MUST rise up to command our little army and make them into the men and women God created them to be. 
4. Fear can not be a ruling force in our lives. We must be ruled by faith

Is it a big job? You bet! 

Can we do it? You bet! We can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength. 

I want to leave you with this. I have it taped on the wall of my school room.  I copied it from an Above Rubies women's devotional. So very powerful!! (please overlook my penmanship ; ) 

love,

amber

Letting the cat out of the bag

Hi! Merry Christmas! I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas. We did. Thailand Christmas' are always interesting and never the same. You have to create the mood you want to have with your family because all around you everyone is carrying on as if nothing special were about to happen.

Oh wait! I'm supposed to be letting a cat out of the bag...not be talking about our Christmas. hehehe but I guess in a way it's all related.

We haven't let the news out yet, but I wanted to let it out for you first. I don't really know how many blog readers I have but if you're still reading my blog you must be pretty faithful cause I'm not too good at keeping it up.

Anyway....there I go again. I'm pregnant!!! I'm 10weeks in a few days. I haven't gone to the doctor yet and don't plan on going until around 13 or 14 weeks. All of my other pregnancies were so governed by fear, and anxiousness that we've decided to trust God on this one. I don't want to run to the hospital and get an ultrasound to "confirm" my pregnancy.

I'm VERY pregnant! No one can sleep like a pregnant woman. I'm taking two hour naps and going to be around 10:30pm and waking around 8:30am! I'm also extremely nauseous!! I've never been this nauseous with any other pregnancy. This too is a good sign for someone who's had several miscarriages. All of my symptoms help my heart to be at ease that all is well.

The baby's due on Clinton's birthday, July 28th. And for all the curious minds... this ones our last. I turned 40 this year and my old body just aint what it used to be!!! ; )
If it's a girl we'll be happy but if it's not we're totally fine with that. Actually after having all these boys i can't really imagine having a girl. Daddy's still holding out though.

So back to Christmas. Christmas Eve, we took the family to eat Japanese food! The baby was craving wasabi. Yes, I know, folks, we've been in Asia waaaay too long. But none the less. That's what we had and it was wonderful. We ate and ate until our hearts were content. Colton and his wife joined us which made it all the more cozy.

We all went back to our house to watch Home Alone. Don't' ask me?!? I think it was Colton's idea. So glad it was late and I made Joe and Cayden go to be because that movie is filled with stinky attitudes.

The next morning, we did Skype with Chase and Nonnie as we opened our presents. It's been so hard Chase being gone but am so thankful for technology!

So then came the preparation of the wonderful Christmas meal, right?!? WRONG. I had planned it all out the day before and even did all the shopping for it. Colton requested Mexican. So the menu was quesadillas, hot sauce, tacos, and cheese dip.

BUT, my pregnant body wasn't cooperating with the plan. I kept talking to myself all day and trying to get myself excited about making the sacred dinner, but it just wasn't working. Suddenly, at 1:45 the pregnant sleepy hit (that i can only compare to jet lag) and there's not escaping it. I woke from my nap at around 3:45 still not excited about making Christmas dinner.

Finally, at around 5pm I timidly asked, "Colton, would you be terribly disappointed if we didn't have a traditional Christmas dinner and ordered pizza instead?" He was like, "No, not at all. Pizza sounds good to me. His wife was really excited that she didn't have to eat Mexican as was Bank. " So pizza it was!! At 7:30pm our pizza and hot wings arrived, and we enjoyed one another's company without all the fuss of making a Christmas dinner.

We ended the evening watching White Christmas, which has become a family tradition. Heck, at least we still have some family traditions! ; )

Here's a few pictures into our home.

This is our advent pockets we made when Clinton's mom was here last year.

Winter painting my amazingly talented husband painted.

Our sweet tree

Hark the herald angles sing, Glory to the new born King

How was your Christmas? I'd love to hear some of the things you and your family do.

Love,
Amber

What's on my mind

My heart is so heavy this week!

I want to bring you into a little part of my world and share my burden with you. It's my desire in sharing, that you would get the burden too and join with me in prayer for this family. I'm going to try and give you a little background and also paint a picture for you.

Three years ago, our team met this family who were living in abject poverty. The mother and father whose names are Bia (mother) and Oh(father), were only 28 at the time. Both of them enslaved by the sprit of poverty, and laziness. The father in chains to alcohol. At the time they had 6 children and the mother went to jail shortly after for several months.(breaking and entering).

When we met them the two oldest daughters, who were 9 and 10 at the time, had never gone to school and there were no plans of them joining school. All the children ran around naked in utter filth all of the time(except the two oldest girls, of course). Though there were serious problems in the home the mother and father loved each other, which is a plus. He had always been faithful to her even during her many long visits to jail. Though much of the time he would spend passed out drunk, he still loved his wife and kids the best he knew how.

Fast forward to today, they now have 8 children. The father is no longer enslaved to alcohol but is enslaved by a much bigger demon....Ice and he's pulled his wife into his addiction with him. So what used to be a pretty mild mannered drunk has turned into a raving wife beating, gun slinging maniac!! He's kicked her and all the children out more times than one and attempted to cut off the fingers of his mothers husband, which forced them to move out.

He's now selling ICE for a policeman who also pays him with prostitutes. So now his hearts turned away from his wife and his children. He beats her, kicks her out. She leaves for a few days and then returns. This has happened twice just this month.

Now this grandmother has played a vital role in the lives of these children as the mother was too lazy to raise them, incarcerated, or pregnant and the father was passed out somewhere. Now she's gone.

Thak, a beloved friend and team mate took in the two oldest daughters three years ago so that they could attend school. At the time the girls were 9 and 10 and had never been to school, and there were no plans for them to go to school.  So when schools in session they're with her. When there's a school break they go back home to be with their parents. Both girls have been either number 2 or 3 in their class for the lsat three years!!

But as we have it now, both parents don't want any of the children. They came and dropped them off to Thak, all eight of them, several weeks ago and haven't been back. Thak brought the two littlest ones back home three days ago because she was so stressed out, going from two to eight all in one day. After one day the father called and said, "you have to come get these kids. I can't handle them." So we got in the truck and picked them up.

When we walked in the house, the air was filled with the smell of drugs. There were shoes lined up at the top of the stairs and the door was closed. There were a room full of people smoking ICE. The mother came out of the room, holding the smallest baby and the two year old clinging to her leg. She sat down on the stairs eyes glazed over and said,"Thak you have to take them. I can't do it. I'm so dizzy. My heart's racing"

Tears began to stream down my face as I stood in this hovel of a house and looked up the stairs at a naked baby girl and a lithe brown eyed boy whose face was crusted over with dirt and snot.

Thak said, "Bia, go get Bii Mai some clothes she soaking wet with pee." Bia sat on the stairs and looked at her dazed and confused. Eyes glassed over. Thak went up the stairs took the naked baby and the dirty little boy and we headed back home.

My heart was heavy, friends. My heart is heavy. I haven't been able to sleep for the last few nights thinking about the house, the mother, the father.

Here's the front of the house. 

This is the downstairs. The floor is covered with red dirt that runs in from the back door when it rains. As you can see there's no cleaning going on in this house.

There's standing water about 4in deep in the bathroom. The black on the floor is...well....who knows what it is. 

Here's a picture of Bia, very high, holding her last baby Bii Mai (New year). This was the evening we dropped the kids off.

This is the room where the get high. There's people over all day and all night either buying drugs or smoking drugs with the mother and the father. Things are left just as they are. When they're done eating they just walk away and leave the paper/wrappers there. The cigarette papers and butts are scattered all over the floor. Filthy clothes lie in piles all throughout the house. 

This is the community bedroom. To the left, the mother is sleeping in a drug induced coma as the small little girl lies in her own feces and urine. with sweat dripping down her little face. 

Dum (Dark) third child/ 9 years

Uan (Cubby) 1st child/12years

New Dii (Good) 6th child/3years

Pii Tak(defender) 7th child/2years

Tuut(angle: renamed by Thak) 2nd child/11years

Bow Yai(Big boy) 4th child/6years

Bii Mai(New Year) 8th child/1 year on Dec 11th.

Thak with two littles hanging on her.

I didn't get a picture of child number five. His name is Eeat.

So here's my burden. I can't get Bia and Oh off my mind. Their addiction plaques me. My heart aches for them. My heart aches for the children. My heart aches for all the young boys that come in and out of their house to buy drugs..lives wasted. My heart aches for all those addicted, all those wrapped in chains and living their lives as slaves.


Love
Amber